The Last 6 Months

Well here we are, it's November 22 and I haven't written a note in 6 months!! A lot has been happening for our little trio. Let's start with the most important of all...

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN 39 DAYS!!

Yep, Trevor proposed...I know everyone was thinking or may still be thinking... FINALLY!! We were in Las Vegas for his sister's wedding and he popped the questions at the Mandalay Bay Aquarium. I was a lot of fun. Well the ring pictured was actually ring #2 (my hand is on the left, Michaela's is on the right...yep we are both getting married within 3 months of each other!!!!), but after 6 months of fighting with the jewelry designer they finally got it right! New Year's Eve will be the day we say "I Do!" It's coming up quick!

So as I just said we were in Las Vegas in July celebrating Tara & Casey's nuptials. It was sweltering and there was a lot of work to do. But it was definitely one of the best weddings I 've ever been to. Ethan was the ring bearer, he did such a good job walking down the aisle. I cannot be responisble for the rock throwing that took place once he made it to the altar though!!

Trevor turned 28 in August. We had a super fun Kickball party in the park for him. I unfortunately do not have any pictures of this milestone event!! He will be so mad knowing that I just announced to everyone that he's 28!! Oops, I just did it again!!!

September we took engagement pictures...here's just a sneak peak (I know everyone has seen these since they were in the invitations, but just indulge my catch-up blog!)

Ethan's 2nd birthday party was here and gone. Halloween came and went before I could even blink. Ethan was Mickey Mouse for Halloween, I was Daisy Duck and Trevor was Goofy. Ethan hated his costume unfortunately and wouldn't leave it on for us to take pictures.

And now it is November, the time of the year to acknowledge all that you are thankful for. I am thankful for so many things: Trevor, Ethan, my family & friends, my job, that I am able to give to those who do not have. The list is long. Hopefully I can remember to update this more often as there are a lot of fun and exciting things coming up this week and this next month.

STAY TUNED!!!

Family Time

Ethan is sick. Even though it's not an ideal time for our family, it's times like these that make us what we are. If nothing more than Trevor and I working as a team. We become a medical team.

Trevor is definitely more calm when Ethan is sick than I am. My past blog about him being my calm is almost an understatement. I tend to get a little freaked out by fevers. Ethan's fever has given him a head-to-toe rash. No fun at all!

I was stunned to hear that it is common for fevers to create rashes and that once the fever breaks the rash should be gone...we'll see!

Although it's not the way that I wanted to spend "family time" today, Trevor and I have done really well at working as team. And if nothing else...Ethan becomes much more cuddly when he's not feeling well, which makes my heart a little happier!

Things I Take For Granted

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but what about if you just never see the person...does that count as distance? If so, then I have the love of a lifetime.

Trevor has been working so much lately. Baseball, Matheson, Repeat!! I have been very silent in my suffering, mostly because Trevor works so hard to provide for Ethan and I that I don't want to make things any harder than they are already. But after seeing how absolutely exhausted he was last night made me realize that I need to make every moment he has at home as special as possible. I know that he isn't living in another country or even city, but the distance between us feels just as great.

By the way, Ethan started at Pip Squeaks last week and LOVES it...I will write more on his first week of school later!

I am so happy that I finally figured out that I'm not depressed or angry or even lonely...since baseball started and Trevor's schedule changed this has been a big learning experience for me. I mean it's not like we're miles apart, but when in life do you get a break from each other without it being considered a break-up or separation?! Trevor's work schedule is only because he wants to provide for the family he loves, and I love, love, love that about him!

Let me just clarify one thing, he worked for the Ace's last summer and my world didn't fall apart then. But this year is different because he isn't working mornings at 24 Hour Fitness anymore, he works graveyard for Matheson Flight Extenders. He is such a hands-on dad and I wasn't sure how we were going to adjust to having opposite schedules. I remember being really depressed about the whole situation and just thinking to myself, "we'll never see you." It's funny because one day I just realized that I have always been self-sufficient and independent and not having him around to help with the bedtime routine wasn't going to be the end of the world...Ethan and I would survive! It's the sleeping alone thing that has been a hard pill to swallow. When it comes to love, I'm so vulnerable and dependent. I think Trev knows this but would never call me out on it!

So, I have decided I am going to combat these lonely night blues by diving into my home re-decorating and making myself some new clothes! Plus, not to mention that I have standing Thursday night date with Sara, Tracen and Logan. I cannot thank Sara enough for putting up with Ethan and I, those nights have been so fun and just the thing I have needed for SO long! I also intend to keep this blog as up-to-date as possible...even if it's just a picture!

As far as the re-decorating goes...I will keep try to post the transformation as it happens. I also intend to continue writing the book I started about a month ago, begin working out (I have about 10 pounds to lose before Tara's wedding in July), and have more time to myself to relax and read. Sara and I decided last night we're going to read "The Tenth Circle" by Jodi Picoult, I'm really excited about it! Although I miss Trevor terribly at night, I think the opposite schedules may be very positive. I think I realized last night that although I'm alone most nights, I am constructively alone and I'm becoming a better person, partner and mother because of it!

Now back to making the time we DO have together special. I just need to take 5 minutes each day and devote myself to planning a little family time and a little couple's time for the brief minutes we are all home at the same time. If that means Ethan and I color a picture for Daddy or write him a love note and give it to him in passing then so be it. I think we've realized that as a couple we are very fortunate to have these hiccups and be able to get through them as a unit! I think sometimes we took for granted all the little things that we don't get to experience as often.

Imagine if suddenly your partner was gone. No dinners together, no chance to enjoy the early mornings together, no kiss good night, no kiss good morning to start your day...I know this sounds really silly but these are things that I miss and I took for granted. Now Trevor and I are not separated by distance so I truly admire and look up to those people who have to experience this at a greater extent (Sara you're amazing!)

Human nature can be a greedy, ungrateful thing! I am so excited for our date tonight, and I have to say I'm look forward to the little things that we do when we watch movies. It's not that I ever stopped enjoying it or appreciating it, it's that it became a habit to NOT do them anymore. I have butterflies and am so so so excited to just reconnect with the love of my life!

It's funny how life is constantly handing out trials and tribulations, but in that happening we need to realize appreciate all the things we usually take for grated. I have every intention of embracing every moment whether good or bad and LEARNING from them.

Home Is My Haven

I am sitting here at work wishing I were at home! I love having a job, it makes me feel independent but at the same time when I'm here I miss Ethan and Trevor. I look forward to every minute I get to spend with them, even though most of the time I'm greatful when the morning commute is over and I can just sit at my desk. Weird how that works!

My home is where love lives. It's the place where I can wear sweat pants and a pony tail, not put any make up on and everyone there still thinks I'm cute. It's where I can sneak in to Ethan's room late at night and scoop him and just hold him.

My home is the place where I can sing into my hairbrush and dance as crazy and silly as I want. It's the place where Trevor and I get to just sit and connect with each other over and over. The smallest things happen there, but that is how love grows.

Home is my haven. It is where I get to become a master chef, a seamstress and an interior designer. I have created the home I have always dreamed of. Not because it's the biggest or cleanest or picture-perfect, but because I have the most amazing man and the most precious son. I love having a life outside the home, but my life inside of it is what defines me!

Mother's Day

"The Day I became a mother, my life changed. It is through that journey that I began to discover myself." - - BROOKE BURKE

I love that there is a national holiday to celebrate who else but MOMS! I think the best part of the whole day is to celebrate all we do...because everyone knows we are not appreciated the other 364 days in the year. Just Kidding!

I know this is about 4 days late, but I just have to say after celebrating my second Mother's Day this is one of my favorite days of the year. Being a mother is one of the most rewarding things I know. I know the commitment, the unconditional love we give and the million and half other things we do may go unrecognized, but our children are better for it! I hope when the efforts I make are recognized that I am humble and gracious towards my family, I love them SOOO much!

What a perfect time to say "thank you" to all of the moms out there who have helped and guided me. I have honestly learned more from other moms than any of those "How To" books. Whatever I'm going through it is comforting to know that one of you is either going through the same thing or has already been there. I have used so much of your advice, and I'm happy to say that it has worked!

Most importantly I need to thank my own mom. I have learned so much from her, the most important of which is unconditional love. She is my support and the one I count on in so many ways! When I had Ethan, I hoped to have the same kind of loving relationship with him. Children learn so much by example. I am so lucky to have been raised by such an amazing woman, who gave me the foundation to discovery my mothering instincts. We all know I didn't think I had them!!

I am so lucky to have a beautiful, healthy child. Being a mom is my greatest accomplishment ever! I hope everyone enjoyed their Mother's Day because you deserved it!!

Writer's Block

I've been stumped that past few days. I really wanted to be able to post a blog everyday or at least every other day, but for some reason I get so preoccupied. A lot has been going on, I just get so distracted I forget to keep everyone up-to-date! I did get some good this past weekend, which was nice after such a long week at work. I'm feeling like a new woman!

Ethan had so much fun playing with his cousins, Tracen and Logan last week! He walks around the house saying, "Tracen, Logey" it's very cute. I'm hoping Sara and I can get the boys together again soon!

Christina came over on Sunday to do the last part of her family study. We had 10 minutes to build whatever we wanted out of Ethan's giant Legos. Everytime I would add a block to our castle Trevor would take it off, lol! He said he was doing it on purpose, but I think I wasn't building the castle "right" so he had to fix everything I did! I hope Christina's observations of us didn't lead her to believe we are totally chaotic and dysfunctional! I think Ethan had fun building a "castle" with Daddy and Mommy, though.

This week is much more mellow than last week, we don't really have anything on the calendar. Tomorrow is our weekly Movie Night with Michaela and Charlie. I guess we better let the boys pick the movie this week since we've picked the last 2 movies and they've both been Chick Flicks! Oye, I just don't want to watch a movie that's going to give me nightmares!!

Until the next post, I'm going to keep my mind open and the creative juices flowing! I hope everyone else reading this does the same!

Stay-At-Home Weekend

I wanted to post this yesterday, but I ended up with the most obnoxious sinus headache!

Anyway...Friday night Trevor had to work at the Ace's so it was just Ethan and I. I made a version of Mexican potroast in the crockpot, I used turkey instead of beef because I'm lame and couldn't find a cheap enough potroast. At dinner time though, I decided it wasn't ready so I'm pretty sure Ethan ate PB&J! After I put him to bed, I literally passed out on the couch...I was so exhausted from playing nurse the last 2 days! When I woke up it was 10:45, I hadn't eaten and Trevor was on his way home! I scrambled to shred the turkey, but as I was shredding it for tacos I realized I was not eating it no matter what, for some reason shredding the turkey equated to shredding my forearm muscle...don't ask I was tired and in a weird mood! But Trevor liked the tacos and I did end up eating one the next day for lunch!

Ethan was sick Thursday, Friday and finally started to feel better Saturday, just in time for the nasty cold to hit me! I usually never catch anything from him, I mean as moms we really can't afford to be sick!

Saturday, we did leave the house long enough to buy Thomas a birthday present. I have to say Kohl's really disappointed me in their selection of clothing. I usually can walk into Kohl's with nothing and leave with like 20 things! We went to Thomas' 15th birthday party, I cannot believe he is 15! It was so much fun, Liz made cream cheese pies and Ethan got to play with all his older cousins. He loved it, he followed Daniel around like a little puppy, it was so so so cute!

Sunday was was such a lazy day. Ethan and I just played and played. We built a "castle" out of all of his giant legos, he colored pictures and we "drove" around in his Little Tykes car. My sister came over for dinner so she could interview us for one of her classes, why she chose Trevor and I as her case study I will never know, we are so boring!! I realized that I love and hate Sundays. I love them for the lazy way we spend the day, but I hate them because I know I will have to go to work the next day, lol.

I'm so excited for this week, tonight Jenica and I are going to Kohl's to get stuff to make more beach towel bags, Wednesday night is "Movie Night" with Michaela and Charlie, and then Thursday Ethan and I are going to go play with the Karrasch boys! This is going to be a great week...now if I could just shake this ear infection!!

I'm So Sad Ethan Is Sick

The decision to sell the truck or to not sell the truck is not going to be easy. I have a tendency to make quick and sometimes rash decisions. Thankfully it's not my car that we may or may not be selling. I know Trevor will think long and hard about it before a final decision to sell the truck will be made! He wanted that truck so bad, and his parents found the "perfect" one in Las Vegas. We were so excited to have a new truck, especially one as nice as it is, but when I see how stressed the payments and gas bills make Trevor it makes me so sad! He told me today that he has been thinking about getting rid of it. Even though I have all the confidence in the world that we will be able to make our budget work, I will stand by whatever decision he makes.

I was so sad that Ethan was sick today, mainly because I hate seeing him sick! It breaks my heart when he falls ill. I was also sad because his days with playing with Annalita are numbered, since they found a house and will be moving at the end of this month. The most important thing though is to get him better, so we kept him home today.

At the beginning of next month Ethan will be starting school at Pipsqueaks. It will be a bittersweet moment for me, but I'm hoping that I will feel a sense of accomplishment. Anyway...that will be a whole other blog! Even though Ethan was sick, I got to spend the whole day with my little man. My favorite part of today was the cuddling! He is super cuddly when he is sick, I want him to start feeling better, but I will miss the cozy cuddles!!!

Totally Tuesday

Tuesdays are our "back to the grind" days. Trevor starts his week at midnight and it just snowballs from there! Ethan goes to Shiloh's starting on Tuesdays so he actually has to be up in the mornings. Lucky for me, my week starts on Monday, like a "normal" person,so by Tuesday I feel like an old pro at the daily routine.

This week brings another element to our already busy schedule...baseball starts! The opening game for the Reno Ace's is Thursday, April 8, 2010. From that day forward (until October) Trevor's schedule becomes 4:30 pm to 4:30 am....AHHHH so crazy! I'm really going to miss him. I already feel like we don't get to spend enough time with one another. We will just have to be extra conscious about making time for each other.

Our favorite show was on tonight, "The Biggest Loser." It is one of the few shows Trevor and I love and we that we agree to watch together. I look forward to Tuesdays for that very reason, it's a mini date night. Tonight we had a special treat, my sister came over and hung out. I do get to see her almost everyday but having her here tonight was so nice. I love spending time with her, we made bruchetta and just laughed and talked!

About 20 minutes ago Trevor sent me a text that totally freaked me out! He left early for work and he sends me a text that says, "so...." And in true Jessica fashion I freaked out. Thankfully nothing happened, he just wanted to let me know he couldn't resist buying Ethan more baseball cards while he was at Walmart prior to work! It melted my heart. He loves Ethan so much and they share this wonderful bond, that I cannot describe. Baseball cards will hopefully be something that they can share when Ethan gets a little bit older.

My Tuesday is coming to an end. Ethan is sleeping soundly all snuggled in his bed, Trevor is at work making us some money and I am about to get cozy with a movie! I hope everyone has at least one day in their week that allows them to pause from their busy schedules and reflect on the little things. Goodnight Tuesday, Good morning Wednesday!

New Discoveries...Easter Eggs!

It constantly amazes me how little it takes to fascinate a child.

Yesterday was Ethan's second Easter, but a whole new world opened up for him. Last year we just gave him a stuffed bunny what was bigger than he was, this year we got to do the whole 9 yards! We had hardboiled eggs with camo dye (even though we didn't actually get a chance to dye them), an Easter basket with bubbles and books and movies and last but not least the most amazing thing of all....PLASTIC EGGS!

We went over to our friends, Dixie & Aaron's house for brunch and a massive Easter egg hunt. Ethan loved finding the eggs and opening them. We didn't let him have any of the candy,I know we're mean parents, but it was wonderful to watch this little boy discover the magic of plastic Easter eggs!

It is so important to me that Trevor and I get to share these moments with him, it is only a matter a time before the magic of Christmas, Easter and the Tooth Fairy are gone. I cherish every second I have watching the new discoveries.

This year it was the wonder of plastic eggs filled with dollar bills and candy, I can't wait to see what next Easter brings!

Trevor Is My Calm!

When Trevor and I got together we always thought we would do everything together when it came to Ethan and our future children. It was kind of a silent pact, and for the most part it works. But with life and work it’s just not always possible.

I went to Annalita’s birthday party at Coconut Bowl on Friday. Ethan was really excited to go and play with his cousin and all of her little friends.* It seemed pretty cool until I realized that Trevor couldn’t go with me. We work so well TOGETHER in chaotic situations, considering that he can stay so calm and I tend to become highly stressed. It was so scary to think that I would have to attend this birthday party without him. He is my rock! I tend to become super stressed out by chaotic or unorganized situations. I’ve been exposed to things like this my whole life and yet every time I get in these situations I get extremely anxious. Perhaps it is because my mom always got stressed in similar situations, or because deep down I fear that people will scrutinize every move I make. Was I the parent that just lets their kid run around unsupervised? Was I too mean and he didn’t get to do anything? Did I find a happy medium of supervision and playtime? Am I good mom and there is nothing to really being worrying about? Jeez...I hope the other parents there didn’t think, “wow, she is awful!” Just joking. But my point is when Trevor is with me I feel better. I go into the situation, feel the chaos flow over me and I just look at Trevor who always has a calm look on his face like this is going to be a piece of cake. He gives me a sense of calm and makes me feel confident and beautiful. So, that little birthday party without him was more than him just missing an event. It just made me realize our idea of perpetual togetherness at events like this is just not practical.

Speaking of practicality, this leads me to Trevor’s upcoming work schedule. Hey, I am all for people having more than one job, but I just wish they weren’t jobs that take him away from Ethan and me at night. The thought of only getting to spend one or two nights together as a family? Well, it makes me sad, but it’s something that also excites me. It just reminds us how important the time we do get together is. Trevor loves baseball so much, and I have learned to love it over the last 2 years. It makes me happy that he has a job with the Reno Aces, just because I know how happy it makes him to be immersed in something he loves...and he gets paid to watch and work for BASEBALL!! So...GO ACES!

I am so grateful for my life. I am so grateful for my beautiful family. I am so grateful for my friends. And above all I am so grateful for Trevor...and deep down I’m even grateful for his crazy work schedule! Ok, maybe not, I was just on a grateful roll! However, I stand by the fact that he loves baseball and he wears red clay well!

*Ethan had a blast at Coconut Bowl High Ballocity!

March So Far

This month is just flying by! I spent the last half of last week in Ely, Nevada at the Family Law Conference. It was a very entertaining and a good learning experience...and I didn't just learn about Family Law, I learned A LOT about my co-workers lol!

This coming week is Spring Break for Trevor. He definitely can use the rest! Between working nights and studying during the day, he barely has time for sleep. He was asked to run in a marathon-type run in June, so he will be training for that in the upcoming months. He is also going to start playing softball again on Monday nights. It will be so great for him to get back out there with his friends...cold for me and Ethan but lots of fun for Trevor!

Ethan started swimming lessons on March 2. He is quite the little "fishie" as he says! The only downfall is the water is freezing! The water was so cold on Tuesday, (the 9th) that Ethan was blue for about 12 hours afterwards. I got a little freaked out, and had to call the doctor! We are going to try again tonight and see if anything is better since Jenica and I complained.

Ethan is going to have a play-date tonight with Alex's niece TyLyn. I'm just hoping Ethan is nice to her, he doesn't like having to share is cars. Plus, I'm pretty sure he is taller and outweighs her by quite a bit. She is a such a cute itty thing! I will be sure to take some pictures and/or video of the play-date tonight and add them soon.

Tomorrow is Annalita's 3rd birthday party at Coconut Bowl in the Ballocity. I think it's going to be so much fun for the kids, but those ball pools freak me out a little bit. I like to think I'm not a paranoid parent, but I'm a little scared Ethan is going to get lost or trampled in the balls! Get ready for lots of pictures of this event!

These last two weeks have been insanity, I'm hoping next week things will slow down a bit.

Welcome to The Jessica, Trevor, Ethan Show!

I'm sitting at work right now and decided it would be a good time to create a blog. Not just any blog, but a blog that gives everyone important to us a snapshot of our lives.

We have a very busy 2010 already! Trevor took me to see Garth Brooks right after New Year's as an early birthday present. Two weeks ago Trevor started his EMT-Basic class at TMCC, it's going to be a very busy semester for him!!

What's new with Ethan??? Ethan is a nursery rhyme professional now, especially "Ring Around the Rosie" and last night I discovered that he knows "Itsy Bitsy Spider"!

Stay tuned for more exciting adventures of Jess, Trev & Ethan!