Why Write Now?

Blogging is over, right?  I mean done-zo, dead, totally lame?!  I think it was probably always lame, I mean kind of.  Maybe it was never cool.  But there was a time when everyone was into blogs.  At one point it seemed like everyone I knew had a blog and wrote about their kids and their cute family adventures, their amazing dinners and their fabulous craft projects & homes.  I think in some sense maybe it was a forum to be seen, another form of social media.  The most important thing for me is that I have always tried to be real and true in this space.  I haven't written here in over a year, until last weekend.  Being home all day, alone with 3 kids and trying to balance it all has put a lot of things in perspective for me.


When the pandemic started, I wasn't on board with staying at home.  I wasn't convinced this thing could be as bad as the media was saying.  I staunchly resisted the idea of stay at home orders.  I chose to be a work-out-of-the-home mom for a reason; I had tried to be a stay-at-home mom at one point and I was not good at it.  I think that is really where the resistance came from.  I couldn't imagine having to be an at-home mom, who managed school, all the things that make-up a home and figure out bringing my outside job in.


Writing here in some aspects saved me.  It kept me company during lonely years and was a way for me to journal the young years of my kids.  But more importantly it kept me writing, like one long course in personal essay writing.  As the kids got bigger and our lives got busier I did not prioritize writing.  I found every excuse to not keep it up.


I have missed writing.  I'm not worried about how many people see this and I am past the desire to maybe have the "right" person see my cute family adventures or the projects and recipes I threw on here.  I miss the genuine journaling aspect.  I love to write.


You know what else I really love...lists!


My real gift to this world is bossiness.  I am known for telling you exactly what you should do, how to do it and I will give all the ways I think you should say something.  I like being in charge.  My obsessions come fast and deep and I have a weird need to know everything about a subject I have fixated on.


Writing has been great for me.


It has not always been so great.  I have had my share of red pens rewriting everything I wrote down on a piece of paper.  I grew up with a mom who was not only and English major, and an attorney, but she had a genuine gift of writing.  She rewrote almost every high school paper I ever wrote...and college.  She shaped my writing, taught me how to have a voice and effectively argue a point.  I learned fast that bold is for stupid people and "that" is an unnecessary word.


Every time I think about stepping away from writing something big happens in my world.  In this instance something big is happening to the whole world.  I have come back to the piece about journaling.  I think putting pen to paper and writing what we are going through in The Nook, my feelings, my fears and our experience through this whole thing will be priceless for our family history.


I might run out of things to say, but for now I have things that will need be remembered years down the road.  Now is now, all we have is today.  And today we are in a unique situation that down the road I want to be able to look back on and remember.  Moments are fleeting, all we have is our memories...and if you know anything about us...those are even fleeting.


xo - jess